Fuck everything. I'm done.

[camfield]

TMI, angry ranting and emotionalism under the cut.

Well, last night my car died.  Kaput.  It stalled out on my way back from classes in the middle of an intersection and then would only run if my foot was pressing the gas pedal.  I get it home, and this morning I find out that it is undrivable.  That it probably has engine issues.  That any time it is turned on, thick black smoke billows into the cab.

Fantastic.  This is great, no really.  I have one more week of classes, finals.  I don't know how I'm getting there, seeing as my last money for the week was already in the gas tank and the only vehicle available belongs to my grandfather, who CAN'T drive and refuses to let girls drive his truck.

Then, i'm dealing with Ebay and Paypal, who seem to transfer me back and forth while telling me it's the other company's problem.  I've called them about this issue 3 times now.  3 times.  And it doesn't seem to have helped a goddamn bit, even though, as customer reps in my experience say, "Everything should be all right and ready to use."  And I probably wouldn't have a problem with this, except that they are taking money out of an account that isn't connected to the account i'm using and creating fuck all with my bank. AGAIN.  And since I can't check the information, I stupidly believed them. Again.

And here is the fun part.  Because I was sued for custody (right, daddy sued me for custody), I have to maintain certain conditions or I can be declared an unfit mother.  So if I can't go to school, and I don't have a job because of an injury that still has me down, I'm in serious doodoo.  Not like this man has seen his daughter more than ONCE in her 4+ years of life.  Not that it's HIS mother who keeps sending gifts, nothing from him.  Not that the amount of child support that I get is laughable in the eyes of the court.  Not the fact that he is married with two other children and only contacts me twice a year to yell at me for keeping his 'precious daughter' from him.  No, just that I don't have a car, I must be unfit as a human being.

I spent a good portion of the night staring at my ceiling.  then screaming in my pillow.  Then wandering the short narrow hall of the house.   Then crying and wondering what the heck I did to piss off the universe.  And I'm sure it doesn't help that this all came the day I got my period.  That's another dimension of shit that just...


So yeah.  I'm just about done.

Comments

[dellessa.livejournal.com]

=( I don't even know what to say. *sighs* Cause I'm sure any platitudes I come up with won't help the situation. =( But yeah, if you ever need to vent you have my number.

We are having car issues too. I swear. The universe bites the big one.

[camfield.livejournal.com]

Thanks girl.

And yeah, sometimes, lol.

[dellessa.livejournal.com]

<3

*hugs*

[crnkysnapdragon.livejournal.com]

I got duct tape and places to hide the bodies and if I knew where you lived I would so give you a ride!

Re: *hugs*

[camfield.livejournal.com]

XD

Sounds like a plan!

[ayngelcat.livejournal.com]

*Many hugs* I really do feel for you as I did the single parent thing with an obstructive and unsupportive ex, no money, the custody stuff etc and it's hell :/ All I can say is, you do come out the other side eventually, and a stronger person for it, so hang in there m'dear!

And it's easy to feel intimidated by the whole court process, and the notion of having a child taken off you is terrifying in itself - but they ain't stupid in the courts - it's obvious when somebody's a good parent and the other party is playing power games :)

[camfield.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* I'm hanging I swear. Sometimes by a thread, but hanging.

I'm lucky in that my mom has worked in the legal field for 30+ years, so she's been a big help there. I just wish I could have gotten him to sign off on the papers before this shitstorm started, since he couldn't give to cents. His mom is the one fueling the fire, i'm just the lucky recipient I suppose.

Thanks. It's wonderful to know that eventually it gets better. A light at the end of a long tunnel is better than no light at all. :)

[chi-shiro.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I know where to get a shovel and some bags of lime...

As Delle said, I know platitude aren't going to help right now. Well, other than reminding you that people do care. And we do.

[camfield.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

We all need to have a drunk webcam party someday, lol. Limes ahoy!

[chi-shiro.livejournal.com]

That sounds awesome as soon as I have a webcam again.

Though AJ says he gets to stand in the background of mine to point and laugh. (Let's be honest, he'll be shirtless and posing knowing my dahling.)

[teh-gelfling.livejournal.com]

*pets* Ugh. I'm sorry. I really wish there was something I could do to help. 'Bout all I'm capable of right now is lending an ear.

So many men are complete asshats. I deal with two in a similar situation, so I know where you're coming from, and it's not a fun place. D:

[camfield.livejournal.com]

An ear is wonderful. It reminds me i'm not alone in my little corner. :)

Seriously. And this is why I think I'm going to go lesbian. Men. ASHFLASJIDFLKA!!!

[teh-gelfling.livejournal.com]

I hear ya. Men have their uses. Not terribly many for the majority of them, tho...

Women can be fun. XD

[renegadewriter8.livejournal.com]

He sued for custody!?!?! No way. No freaking way! *grabs baseball bat*

*massive hugs* I'm sure everything will turn out okay hon. *more massive hugs*

[camfield.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *hugs back* I'm hoping!